Evan

O'Brien

Est 2017

"I feel molested by this movie. I’m gonna go sit in side a warm shower with my clothes still on. Dude what the fuck is this movie. I came to misplace my climate anxiety not remind myself of it. Fuck. Dude the plot made no god damn sense. I couldn’t tell you what that movie was about. CGI was fucking ass and it was funny how they hid it with a lot of rain. And what the fuck is up with those ZOOMS dude?!?!? The cinema verite ZOOMS in a kaiju movie?!?! This movie is so loud dude fuck I wish panos cosmatos directed this. God I’m exhausted I keep thinking about aliens coming down to earth and being like “huh let’s see what these humans do for fun” and then watching this and just bring like “uhhhh ew wtf dude these guys are super weird let’s leave” and then they bounce to some other way less try hard than us. Also this may sound fake woke but whatever but the very existence of this movie being an American remake of the Japanese people pouring their pain into their own metaphor for American nuclear terror is so inherently transgressive. I never really put that together until watching this movie. And then the main Japanese character sacrifices himself by NUKING himself for the fate of humanity?!?! and this movie was my by Americans?!? A remake of a movie about how America murdered hundreds of thousands of innocent lives?!?! Dude that’s so gotta be so fucked right. Love Ken Watanabe though. Again, molested. Take me to church hosier."

-On  Godzila: King of the Monsters (2019)